Today was officially signing up for the study. Had to head down to the hospital again, sign papers and get blood drawn. Everything went smoothly and plus, because Im a cancer patient, I get FREE PARKING. Worth having cancer? Maybe not, but quite the perk, you must admit.

The crappy thing about today was the PET scan was delayed again because the insurance company wants to see exactly how mostly dead I am before the approve the tests. I guess these particular tests are common for patients with higher stages of cancer. Dr C is having a peer-to-peer meet with insurance tomorrow so hopefully the next appointment (next Wednesday) will go through.

On the bright side, on the way down to the hospital today all I could see were the trees blooming, the sun shining and what a beautiful day it was. On of my favorite 90s songs came on the radio, which always brings out my inner Bronx (see below) and I had to feel ok.

Finally I had to go to the eye doctor, because why not? Happily everything ok there and Dr. A said BC is NOT what’s going to get me. We agreed it might be my mother…but yet to be determined 🙂

Well, Ive been accepted into the Clinical Trial. I got the call from Dr. Z this afternoon and had to go to Stamford for meeting with Dr.L. This research study is evaluating how well Breast Cancer responds to preoperative treatment with Endocrine treatment in combination with a drug called Palbociclib or Endocrine treatment alone as possible treatments for Hormone Receptor Positive Breast Cancer.

Basically, the drug Palbociclib has been effective treating stage 4 cancer and the study, which is being run by Dana Farber Cancer Institute, is investigating how effective it can be arresting cancer in earlier stages. Both Sam and I think that there’s nothing to lose and everything to gain because results so far indicate that the drug doubles the effectiveness of the traditional hormone therapy. Another plus is that hopefully this approach will cut down or even remove the need for chemo.

So tomorrow I go and sign up and we go from there. The trial will be 6 months and they’ll follow me for 10 years. If I have to go through all this, I may as well do some good along the way.

Got home from all of this and had 2 little presents at the door. My friends are the best. And they know me so well

We met with Dr. Z yesterday. I love and adore him. He’s from Brooklyn and has all the swagger and humor you would expect plus all the knowledge you could want. He has treated 2 of my friends, and they are doing great so I have confidence that he’ll help me get through too.

So the story is we are still waiting for some tests (Pet Scan and Breast MRI). But because I have lobular carcinoma, stage 2 (fingers crossed), have heart disease (heart attack), diabetes and high blood pressure (I pretty much everything except the Black Plague and Gout), I may be a contender for a trial that’s happening. They are testing a CDK inhibitor that is normally used in advanced stage cancer to see if it will help stop the growth and lessen the need for chemo, as chemo is not recommended for someone like me who’s already taking every drug ever invented.

I felt a little shaky after the appointment because there’s still a lot that needs to be sorted. I really want the plan to come together and to get started. There will be a “roundtable” type thing happening May 3 where all the doctors (Sloan Kettering, oncologists, surgeons, pathologists etc) sit around and discuss the case and see what the best options are. Plus, it was weird sitting in a “Cancer Center”. Who knew I would ever be there.

On another note, Ive hired a lady to help out with my mother one day a week. Of course my mother is anxious about what she will be doing for 5 hours. As if laundry, food shopping and listening to the constant stream of consciousness isn’t enough. I feel better about this as I’ll have a back up and things will get done even if Im not feeling great.

So over the next week, more tests and bloodwork. We’re getting there…

Today is Easter and it’s a day of rebirth and revival. I’m finally starting to get rid of the rotten virus that I’ve had for the last 2 weeks and feeling better. We were invited to dear friends to celebrate the day and I am struck by how lucky I am.

I have friends that I consider my family. Now my own family consists of me and my crazy mother. So I’ve had to craft an extended family from a young age to count on through thick and thin (as I was told today). In this, I could not be more blessed. I know that my circles of friends have my back no matter what comes down the road. If I didn’t have them I really have no idea how Id get through anything.

I often marvel at how men can be “friends” but really not know that much about each other. Women open up about everything. Marriages, kids, health, parents. You name it, we know about it. Now MY friends are additionally lucky because I could NEVER repeat anything they tell me bc my mind is traditionally like a sieve and things go in…..and then they go out. But we know that if we need someone to listen to, someone to bitch at or just someone to grab a glass of wine with, we are here for each other.

So even though this last week has been completely shitty, I’m lucky. Im lucky that I have people around me that I know I can count on. This upcoming week will hopefully be filled with a lot more information to sift through. I know I can get through it with my family.

Its been a day and a half since I found out about the BC. Yesterday I was like a woman possessed, calling doctors recommended to me by friends. I made a bunch of appointments and I got 2 for Friday, which I thought was a miracle altogether because it was Good Friday.

After the husband and I saw both doctors we agreed they were both knowledgable and caring and had teams in place that would work great. We decided to go with Dr. C because she spent so much time with us explaining things and was so unhurried. We were impressed that she had booked an appointment with the oncologist within an hour and her team was really on the ball. Also, her hospital is linked with my local so my cardiologist, GP etc can see all reports, all the time.

I feel better now because we understand slightly more about what’s gong on and how to treat. We’ll know more after seeing Dr. Z the oncologist on Tuesday, but we think the plan will involve hormone therapy and surgery in about 6 months. This whole thing is scary and your being thrown medical terms left, right and center and you really have your head swimming around. Between the 2 appointments, traveling etc we spent a total of 6 hours of the day and it was exhausting. However, I have to say everyone we met with was kind and patient.

Meanwhile, for comic relief, I called my mother on the way home to tell her what was going on. Now my mother truly loves me (her only child) but cannot help that she’s the most narcissistic person on the planet. So she gets on the phone and says “Deborah Ann, I have good news!” Great, what is it? “Well, I just got off the phone with my friend (83) who says things have come a long way a you should just breeze through this! Plus she said you’re lucky to have a mother with a personality like mine because it will help you all along the way!”

OR it will make me want to leap in the grave early….

Then she says it’s very important for her to get the easter egg coloring cups down from above the fridge and can I come over and do that? When I explain thats not first on my priority list she says “Deborah Ann, Im just trying to make easter nice” with a tone like she can’t believe Im not rushing over there. She’s completely crazy.