Yesterday was Doctor Day. Sam stayed home and first we went to the breast surgeon. She is really lovely and it was nice to see her again. When she saw me she said I looked much better and this will probably be the way breast cancer will be treated in the future. I was happy that she was happy and we set the date for the surgery for Nov. 15. Im a little nervous about it but am doing to deal with it when it gets closer.

Then we went to the orthopedic doctor to check on Sams knee. He has a torn meniscus and it was decided that he needs surgery. That will happen in the next week or two and I think, having been through it myself, that it will be much better in the long run. Plus Ill get to baby him for a while.

The best part of the day, for him at least, was he got his delivery of wood for the season. He’s like a little kid when the guy comes with this is enormous amount of lumber. Luckily, Phillip and his friend Johnny were here and they worked all afternoon to stack it. Now my husband is comfortable that in case of the apocalypse at least we’ll be warm.

After the seventh ring of Hell that was cleaning out the house in Pittsburgh, 3 days later was the complete opposite. We attended a wedding in NYC which was beautiful. The daughter of our good friends had been planning for this day for a long time and I think Im correct in saying, she got the perfect day she dreamed of.

Every detail was taken care of and both the church and the venue were exquisite. The bride looked beautiful and her groom handsome. The most important thing was that they both looked incredibly happy. I remember when Sam and I got married, back when the dinosaurs roamed the earth, and I remember the feeling of relief that all the planning and worrying were over. I never was worried about the actual marriage, just that everything would go smoothly.

Over the years Ive learned a lot about what it takes to be with someone for the rest of your life. You have to let the little things go. You have to remember no one is perfect. You have to compromise. But most of all you have to make each other laugh, even during the hard times. I think that is the most important secret to a happy marriage.

So to Caitlin and Dave, I wish all the love and laughter there is and a lifetime of happiness.

Last Thursday I had a check up with Dr. L and though Vlad has not decreased in size, he’s getting softer which is a good sign. Everyone is very happy with my progress and evidently I’m the fifth patient in this study and I’m rocking it. So onward and upward.

Friday we left for Pittsburgh to clean out Sam’s parents house, which has not been lived in in 8 years, but has 40 years of junk accumulated. All his siblings came in to help and it was really something. There were spaces in the basement that, after 33 years of marriage, I had no idea existed. There was a “cold cellar” that I swear to god was the inspiration for Psycho’s fruit cellar. All we needed was a skeleton in a revolving chair.

Theirs

So for 4 days we cleaned. I have to hand it to Sams sister and brother who did the majority of the work, because Sams knee went out. But together they all did an unbelievable job clearing out. We had a Veterans organization come for donations and 1-800-gotjunk came with 3 trucks to unload. I would HIGHLY recommend them.

Sams OTHER sister is a bit of a hoarder and eventually I got yelled at because I threw away dead plants and put them on the porch in the heat. Which killed them. NOT the non-watering for 8 years. It was all I could do not to throw the dead plant at her head. She was, however, brave about the process. Im sure we’ll be hearing about things we got rid of for the next 10 years, but that’s the way it goes.

After everything, being at the house for 12 hours a day, eating fast food for every meal and constantly being covered in grime, it was a good time to reconnect with family. We all pitch in when we’re needed and, happily we are one step closer to getting the house sold.

I also got to spend a day at the museum with my sister-in-law (who was the only smart one, and stayed away), my nephew and my other nephew’s girlfriends daughter (got that?) Eli is 14 and was a good sport about everything and Alayna in 4 and has more energy than you can imagine. It was a really fun day that I needed in the middle of everything. My sister-in-law and I have always seen eye to eye and its great having someone in the family that I can rely on. It was wonderful showing the kids the dinosaurs, the igloos and everything the Natural History Museum had to offer.

We are now in the airport, delayed because of weather, but happy to be getting back home.

This last week I took Gma on her annual vacation. Its the only time she gets away and Im the only person who could POSSIBLY put up with her, so there we are. We ended up going to Mystic CT, which is lovely. For most people a 2 day excursion at most. We stayed 4. With us came the wheelchair, the walker and the cane. Though when I packed the wheelchair I forgot the leg attachments so she had to raise her legs the whole time, which lasted exactly 30 min. So wheelchair was out.

She loves being by the water so it was a nice destination. We went to the Seaport and she loved learning about the whales and seeing the ships. The only downside was the heat which was in the 90s and difficult to for her to do much. All in all she had a good time and I thanked god every night I had my own room. Bengay, the slipper shuffle and room temp up to 75 degrees is just too much altogether. But we survived and another year is in the books.

Then came home and she called me THE NEXT DAY (Friday) with things I had to do. I lost my shit and called my poor husband. He sorted her out on Saturday and I took a valium.

Saturdays excitement was my niece Taylor (who’s 5 month pregnant) and her husband, Zac were visiting NY. They came early then Zac’s family (8 more) were coming Sunday evening. Zac’s aunt (who’s never been to NY) booked a hotel near the Bronx Zoo, which was one of the main reasons they came because they love the show The Zoo (which I love too). I was suspicious of the hotel when they say “Its a Sheraton” except its a Sheridan with an “i.” I look up the place and some reviews were “People drinking bottles of alcohol in the lobby and asking for hourly rates.” Im horrified.

T & Z get to hotel and the guy says “look at the room before I charge you.” First red flag. Evidently filthy and HAD A TISSUE WITH BLOOD IN THE PEEPHOLE. Fantastic. Needless to say, those two came up for the night. Then we all went to the Met for the day and we sorted them a new hotel room in Manhattan. Im just glad everything worked out and my little great niece wasn’t murdered before she was even born. Meanwhile Taylor was excellent, looks great and I know these two are going to be unbelievable parents. It was great to spend time with just them and I can’t wait to spoil the hell out of that baby.

This weekend we had a visit from a friend. She is going through a divorce and she’s concerned that her children will be impacted by the upheaval of the new family dynamic. Its been coming for a long time and there’s been a lot going on and the kids have already been through a lot of turmoil. We had a very long talk and although I understand that the kids (all of whom are out of high school) will definitely live with all of this, and carry it through their lives, they will survive.

I think that no matter who you talk to, meet or associate with, everyone has their problems. It’s easy to say “Oh, look at so and so, their life is perfect.” What you don’t see is that everyone has something. Emotional, physical, psychological, financial. Its simply some people hide it better than others or can deal with it on a deeper level.

My heath issues have been around for a long time and emotionally my mother has been around my whole life (obviously). There were times that were really hard. But I truly believe that they all made me stronger. I think you have to WILL yourself to get through and always know you’ll get through to the other side. Also getting help when you need it is so important. When my mother first moved to town I was so depressed poor Sam would come home to me hysterical crying. Every day. But I called a therapist, went for a while and once we established Im not dealing with a normal person, I felt better and moved on. Would I go again? Absolutely. Because I cant imagine that anyone knows how to deal with every situation that comes up in life. It’s ridiculous to think you can. These professionals have tools to help you control your own responses, because, god knows, you cant change other peoples responses to you.

I know these kids will be fine on the other end of this and I know my friend is strong and that all of them will support each other. They are a close family who didn’t deserve what they’ve been dealt. We are all given hard, miserable things to go through but the goal is to try and fight hard to get through the storm.

I cant believe it. We had two large empty flower pots in the back and I thought we should get something for them. So off Sam and i go to the garden center and we find hibiscus trees 50% off! Fantastic! We buy two and Sammy puts them in the pots and they’re great! Were so proud of ourselves! Then we learn that they flower only one day, the flowers die, but a new batch is right behind them so every day you get new blooms. Lovely.

My friend Maury comes over to visit, and while we’re chatting we look out the window and see 2 baby fawn across the yard. Now when we first moved here, the boys and I would see deer and drive after them to see them closer. We thought they were adorable. HOWEVER, as the years go by, those rotten deer have eaten hundreds of dollars of landscaping. Lo and behold, those little bastards have eaten my trees down to a nub. I’m annoyed.

On another front, Ive started a new herbal remedy suggested by my oncologist for my ridiculous hot flashes. Its called Relizen. So far so good, but I really haven’t noticed a change, though its only been 3 days. The packaging says it may take up to 3 months to work. Ugh. I guess Im going to continue to roast for a while. Like a chicken.

Just came home from Dr. L’s office. After he examined me he’s determined that after 1 month of taking Ibrance, my tumor has shrunk approximately 50%!!! Its unbelievable news. The doctor was thrilled and I think he was looking for a bigger reaction from me. I don’t think it hit me until I texted the boys the news and burst into tears. I’m so grateful that Im on this trial and that my body is reacting so well. I generally try not to dwell on what happening, or even think about it because what good does it do? But this is a big deal.

So if this continues, god willing, by the time my surgery date arrives there will only be “a sprinkling” of cancer cells for them to remove. I’ll stay on the Ibrance for 6 months after surgery to make sure all rogue cells are caught, and the Letrozole for 5 years. Which means more hot flashes and tiredness. But who cares because its all worth it.

Im picking up Phillip George at the airport in a couple hours after his month long sojourn in the UK. I’ve missed him and am happy to have him back. Then we’re going out to celebrate!!! Im alive, dammit, and I plan to stay that way for a long time.

Today I shaved my legs. Unfortunately I nicked a little mole on my upper thigh and didn’t realize it. Several minutes later I look down at my hand and there’s blood all over it. Huh. I wash it off and continue on. Then I started to wrap a present on the bed. I look down and blood’s everywhere. Im on blood thinners and evidently when I nick something its a bloodbath.

So I wash the blood covered duvet with Greased Lightning and everything comes out. Ive sworn by this product, sold at Home Depot, for years. You could kill a family of 5 and no-one would ever know because this gets rid of everything. Grease, blood, dirt. I absolutely love it. It’s really unnatural how much I love it. If I was famous, all I would endorse would be Greased Lightning.

Meanwhile, GMA got her first Meals on Wheels and she was very happy, thank all the gods above. The food looked “Great” and the amount was good and the delivery people talked to her and she was thrilled. Tick one job off the list.

Last night, I went on the Cancer Schmancer dinner cruise. One of my oldest friends, Diane, runs Cozi TV and has The Nanny on her network. She’s worked with Fran Drescher and was invited to go on the annual cabaret cruise and was kind enough to ask me to come. It was a special night where people from all walks of life gather to support Frans mission to fight cancer with early detection.

Fran was misdiagnosed seven times before she learned she had uterine cancer. She said, “We have to know more so when we go into the doctor’s office, we’re better partners with them because oftentimes, the test you need isn’t even on the menu.” She very knowledgable regarding alternative therapies and testing.

Its amazing that once you get cancer, you realize you’re part of a special community that really wants the best for us all. Like Fran says, “Sometimes the best gifts come in the ugliest packages.” I couldn’t agree more.  She’s warm, sweet and really has found her mission in life. Im lucky I got to meet her.

I went to a wedding shower on Saturday. It was the first one in a while and it was lovely. It was a long day for me because I had to leave the house at 10:30am and schlepp to lower Manhattan and by end of the day didn’t get home until 6pm. Normally no problem, but because of current sleeping pattern was concerned I was going to nap while driving home which is usually not the best scenario.

Was given the heads up that the shower would not involve opening gifts and I was a little worried that we would all be looking at each other for 3 hours like a bunch of dummies. HOWEVER, it was really so nice. It gave everyone time to get to know each other, relax and have a great time. Before you realized it, the time had flown by. Before I realized it also, Im sitting at the Old Guard Table. Which is 100% where I belong, but Im sure the ladies at my table and I were all thinking the same thing…where did the time go? It seems like yesterday that we were attending our own friends showers. I think thats one of the weird things about aging, your body continues to fall apart but, if you’re lucky, your mind stays young. I always tell Sam, at some point, all I’ll be is a head in a box that he carries around to provide amusing comments throughout his day. But back to our shower, the bride glowed and you could see she was ready for this next adventure of her life. Im very lucky I get to be part of it.

Meanwhile, yesterday GMA came over and described how she stalks her neighbor. She watches him go to work (Very Well Dressed), reads his envelopes (Well, I didn’t OPEN them) and tells him not to slam the door because (Her pictures will fall down). I told her to stop being the CRAZY old lady next door. She says “What do you mean?” I then recounted above and I think she realized she IS the crazy old lady next door. New day, new story.